What is Worship?

So far training camp has been fun, but definitely challenging, which is crazy that it’s already difficult considering that we’re only on day 4.

Some of the obvious challenges are sleeping in a tent when it’s really humid, hot, and you haven’t had a shower in 3 days. Then there’s coming to terms with the fact that you won’t see the people you love the most for 9 months. And then finally there’s having to get to know so many new people and finding the people that you’re going to be connected with the most. However, the biggest challenge I have been faced with so far really shocked me. It has been worship.

I have always loved worship, so it was crazy to me that I was finding it so hard. Worship here is very different than it is back home, and that is by no means a bad thing. The staff and worship team has been trying to provide a space during worship for people to worship however they feel like it. There has been a lot of repeating the same verse or two over and over for at least 5 minutes, or just instrumental while people are singing, humming, and praying out loud about what they want to praise God for. And at a distance, that is such a beautiful thing: just a group of people lifting up praise to the Lord in the way they desire. However, it’s difficult being in the midst of that when you’ve never been in that situation before.

I have noticed that recently during worship back home I’ll be singing the words while my heart and head are in a different place, and I haven’t felt connected to the Lord while I’ve been in worship “sessions”. And it’s been really bugging me that I haven’t been able to focus, because I truly do desire to worship the Lord with my entire being. So with that, being in a situation where there are no words for me to mindlessly sing along to, I had to really face this question: what is worship to me, and what does that look like?

Worship should be a constant state of being as children of the Lord. Diving deeper into that, especially during worship “sessions”, it is a personal time between you and the Lord where you can express your feelings and thoughts and anything else as an act of praise to Him. John 4:24 says to worship in Spirit and truth. But the question is, what does that really look like?

There isn’t a textbook answer. It truly is only between you and the Lord, and I am in the process of figuring out what that looks like in my relationship with Him. It would be so easy to look around at the people surrounding me and choose someone or the majority to just mimic, but then it wouldn’t be genuine and I would just feel uncomfortable and be worrying about if I’m doing in the “right way”. At first I was praying and asking God why I felt so uncomfortable and was doing the best I could to figure out how to stay “in the moment”, then today I found something that was working for me pretty well.

I asked myself the question “why do I worship God?” I came up with 2 answers on the spot.
1. Because He deserves it
2. Because of all He has done for me
Today I focused more on the second one. As the music was playing and we were all singing the word hallelujah over and over again, I was thinking specifically about Jesus and His time on Earth (I’m currently reading in John, so it was fresh in my mind). I thought of the fact that Jesus left Heaven, the best and most wonderful place to ever exist, to come down to Earth where He KNEW He was going to suffer so much, for us. That one fact gave me so much joy, thankfulness, and a reason to praise that it almost brought me to tears. Once I felt myself starting to slip out of it again, I went to the next part in His life. I thought about how I’ve been hungry these past few days because the portions have been smaller than I’m used to, yet Jesus walked through the DESERT and fasted for 40 DAYS to spend time with the Lord and prepare for the ministry He was about to begin so that He could save us. Again, I was filled with love and awe. My heart felt so full with joy and worship that I was jumping and clapping and singing so loud. It was so fun and felt so real.

That’s not what it’s going to feel like every time, I know that. There will be still times where I’m there raising my hands, or kneeling, or just standing there and taking it all in and allowing myself to hear from Him. I can’t wait to experience all of these.

So, worship is an amazing ability that we were given to have a moment with the Lord and reflect on all He has done for us. It is also so much more, but I’m sure I’ll have different examples to share at some later moment on this journey. I’m so excited for when I’ll be able to share them with you guys.

Love you guys, and thank you for all your prayers and support. If you are interested in donating, here is the link to my fundraising page.

– Gabi
“I’m sold out, fully on fire, my whole heart has been washed by the Water”